“You can’t trust anyone” is a ridiculous phrase. Sure, when we’re let down or betrayed we empathize with that statement, but we’re also being incredibly hypocritical. The truth is we trust lots of people, many of them complete strangers, every single day. We trust restaurants to feed us without getting sick. We trust police, firemen and doctors will be there when we need them (even when we do something incredibly stupid). All those cars, trucks and bicycles on the road? They’re driven and ridden by people that we trust won’t bash into us or run us over.
Image from Steve Lambert
Sometimes we do get clobbered though. Or become a hot mess on the toilet or have a surgeon that makes a grave error on the operating table. But how often does this really happen when you consider all the opportunities for things to go wrong? We don’t hear about everyday things going smoothly, unless it’s The Onion celebrating a so mundane it’s funny moment. Still , somehow we’re outraged that anyone could ever be human. Not everyone works in fields where a mistake is as trivial as a typo or a Photoshop blunder. It doesn’t mean they’re not allowed to make them. In fact, it’s those type of expectations that will dissuade our brightest minds from aspiring to take on our most difficult, courageous professions.
Society doesn’t crumble because functional human beings have empathy for each other. It’s not just the fact that there are consequences for harming others. We don’t want to let others down or hurt them. That doesn’t make us feel good.
So we’ve got to get rid of this idea that the world is out to get us because it’s a buzzkill and saps the life out of us. Run an image search on trust and you’ll find plenty of negativity. Does that really help us? I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure that’s what happened to old people that have the permafrown on their faces. Besides, the world is way too large of a place to hold grudges like that – and if you want to consult science for its latest dust in the wind moment, it’s constantly finding out the universe is even more mind-cripplingly bigger than we thought.
The point is, embrace our system of trust. Can you really imagine living without it? We’d get nothing done if all we did was rely on ourselves and worry about someone trying to screw us over.
Trust more often and you’ll find you’re doing the society a favor. Social psychology has shown us that in emergencies, people are more likely to step in and help when addressed directly (even a ‘hey dude’ can convey that you’re counting on them). So why wouldn’t knowing you’re trusted make you feel more of a responsibility for others? A reputation is at stake and you can’t bear to let them believe you weren’t up to the task. For all the bad we try to prevent and remedy, it’s got to be equally important to squeeze the positive vibes out of the legions that really are open to it. Trust is empowerment and it has a contagious effect.
I want to be doing the things that help us progress as human beings. I’m a believer that truly evolved humans cooperate more often than they squabble and bicker. Is it easy? Hell no, we have to recognize and consciously make an effort to let go of our defensive impulses. But if and when aliens come to Earth that’s going to look way more impressive than some inferior weapon of mass destruction we’ve wasted our time on.